Little Black Book

A Personal Matchmaking Service for Londoners.

The Tinder Effect

The Tinder Effect

The number of people using Dating apps has exploded and the effect this is having on behaviour in the dating world is catastrophic. There are over 50 million Tinder users and 1.6 billion swipes daily…that’s a lot of people looking for hook ups! And the most worrying thing it’s based purely on physical attractiveness.

What dating apps has created is the phenomenon that dating is a game, sexualised by technology. As Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic explains, “Tinder is the latest example for the sexualisation of urban gadgets: It is nomophobia, Facebook-porn and Candy Crush Saga all in one”. Sadly, the perceived sea of choice that Tinder offers its users has led to an inability to commit. Instead, people date several people at once in a bid to keep their options open… ‘what if there is something better out there?’. I’ve purposely used ‘something’ rather than ‘someone’ because objectification is sadly rife.

The idea of ‘The Paradox of Choice’ shows that having lots of options can actually make decision making more confusing … have you ever tried to find a film on Netflix?Unfortunately when people are trying to find a real meaningful relationship in the real world they are taking their ‘Tinderisms’ with them. This fear of making a relationship official and focusing their attention on just one person means they are losing out on ever truly getting to know someone deeper than at a superficial level. As Clinical Psycholgist Dr. Wendy Walsh states, “we are wired to bond, this is good for us, but if there is so much sexual opportunity we’re actually not bonding…it is hard for us to focus on one relationship.” Walsh warns against using “short term dating strategies for long term goals”.

Another backlash of online dating and particularly apps is the absolute obsession with physical attractiveness. But let’s just talk about profiles for a moment; these pictures have been carefully curated and filtered to show their very best selves. This isn’t real life, nobody looks like their Tinder photo all of the time. This constant pool of Tinder perfect profiles has increased the average levels of attractiveness compared to the real 3D world.

So let’s get real, if you want to find a person to have a meaningful relationship with you need to step into the real world and leave your ‘swiping’ mentality at the door. Finding your partner isn’t about instant gratification and churning through potential dates. It is about taking the time to get to know somebody, and the key to remember; is they are a ‘somebody’. Looking for a life partner isn’t a game, and if a game is what you’re after.. stick to Tinder!

8 Sky High Dates

With this heat wave set to stay why not take your dating up a level..literally! Head to one of London’s finest roof top bars and soak up one of the planets finest skylines. Whether you are after a cosy and intimate bar or somewhere to dance into the small hours Little Black Book has got a roof terrace for you:

South Banks Mondrian Hotel - Rumpus room: For super swanky head to the Rumpus room at the Mondrian, a fabulous hotel bar on the South Bank. If you are a mid-week dater, hit it up on a Wednesday and join them for live music and a special Grey Goose cocktail menu with all drinks £10 – bargain!

https://www.morganshotelgroup.com/mondrian/mondrian-london/eat-drink/rumpus-room

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Bar Elba in Waterloo - If you are after a fun party vibe, Bar Elba is the place for you. The bar takes its name from the tiny Island of Elba, off the Tuscan coast where Napolean was exiled in 1814. He apparently took his horse and a few hundred closest pals and partied for 300 days!! What a dude! So grab a space on one of the communal tables and get involved in the extensive cocktail list and you too will soon be partying Napolean style!

http://www.bar-elba.co.uk/

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Culpeper Roof Garden - This is a little oasis of calm in the hustle and bustle of the city. The roof top is used to grow vegetables and herbs which feature on the gastro pubs modern menu. Get organised and book in advance as seating is limited, relax and enjoy the peace.. and the giant gerkin, yes really!

https://www.theculpeper.com/rooftop/

Radio Rooftop Bar, ME London Hotel - This super slick terrace will have you reminiscing of nights spent on the White Isle. So if plush bars with background house beats are your thing head to Radio Rooftop for your own Ibiza experience in the Big Smoke.

http://radiorooftop.com/london/

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Dalston Roof Park - The spacious roof top boasts 2 bars and a retractable roof! So whether you’re soaking up the heatwave or avoiding getting soaked – this bar has got our climate covered! Pop up food traders are taking up residencies alongside the DJ’s so head down for a drink, nibble and dance. Safely in the knowledge that all the money made at Dalston Roof Park goes towards supporting ‘The Bootstrap Company’, a registered charity based in Hackney, helping to alleviate poverty and further education in the local community…go on have another drink, it would be rude not to!

http://www.bootstrapcompany.co.uk/about-dalston-roof-park/

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Aviary, Montcalm Hotel - For stylish terrace action this bar on Finsbury Square is the place for you. Sip a botanical cocktail 10 floors up whilst soaking up spectacular views of the city. As the sun goes down cosy up under blankets and unwind whilst watching the city’s skyline lighting up before you. 

https://www.themontcalm.com/aviary-at-the-montcalm-royal-london-house-8418.html

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The Rooftop, St James -   As views go the bar on top of the Trafalgar Hotel is iconic and well worth a visit. With many cocktails named after London’s landmarks head up, drink a ‘Soho Sunset’ and join the ranks of many and take a selfie with Admiral Nelson!

https://trafalgarstjames.com/the-rooftop

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Boundary Rooftop Bar, Shoreditch – Perched upon the Conran designed Boundary Project this rooftop offers a retreat from the buzz taking place below. Offering a superbly simple menu of seafood and skewers the Boundary allows you to relax and feel refined at the same time. 

https://boundary.london/rooftop/

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Is Internet Dating Killing Romance?

With the hectic world of online dating finding a partner can feel more like doing your Ocado shop. You can understand why the masses using these websites and apps feel like romance is being washed away with every swipe, wink and like. Not only is the process painstakingly systematic it is also incredibly time consuming: it takes an average of 11 hours of trawling before you may even get a physical date...only to realise that your date was a little flexible with the truth in their description, doesn’t look like the profile picture and actually doesn’t want a serious relationship – Great!

Don’t be put off there is another way: Matchmaking agencies, and yes that is still a thing! In fact it’s a brilliant and effective thing, especially for busy people. You can say goodbye to the tedious trawl whilst a skilled and experienced matchmaker does the hard work for you. Another reason many choose matchmaking agencies is their discreet nature: people often don’t want their profiles in the public eye for fear of bumping into colleagues, clients or employees online.

Sounds great doesn’t it? But which matchmaking agency? Let me help you with that! Here at Little Black Book we would love to assist you in finding your ideal partner. We are an award winning agency based in West London with a friendly, experienced team offering a personal service. We always meet everyone face to face for a coffee and a chat so we can discover more about you and get a great understanding of what you are looking for. Not only does this meeting mean that we eliminate the chance of profile fibbing but our skilled intuitive matchmakers will pick up on fundamental traits like temperament and that all important sense of humour, which are tricky to gauge online. 

Why wait to meet your perfect life partner? If you were serious about finding a new home you would register with an estate agent, if you were looking for the next step on the career ladder you would use a headhunter. So why not invest in your future happiness? Give us a call and let us delve into our little black book and find you the perfect match.