Little Black Book

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The Tinder Effect

The Tinder Effect

The number of people using Dating apps has exploded and the effect this is having on behaviour in the dating world is catastrophic. There are over 50 million Tinder users and 1.6 billion swipes daily…that’s a lot of people looking for hook ups! And the most worrying thing it’s based purely on physical attractiveness.

What dating apps has created is the phenomenon that dating is a game, sexualised by technology. As Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic explains, “Tinder is the latest example for the sexualisation of urban gadgets: It is nomophobia, Facebook-porn and Candy Crush Saga all in one”. Sadly, the perceived sea of choice that Tinder offers its users has led to an inability to commit. Instead, people date several people at once in a bid to keep their options open… ‘what if there is something better out there?’. I’ve purposely used ‘something’ rather than ‘someone’ because objectification is sadly rife.

The idea of ‘The Paradox of Choice’ shows that having lots of options can actually make decision making more confusing … have you ever tried to find a film on Netflix?Unfortunately when people are trying to find a real meaningful relationship in the real world they are taking their ‘Tinderisms’ with them. This fear of making a relationship official and focusing their attention on just one person means they are losing out on ever truly getting to know someone deeper than at a superficial level. As Clinical Psycholgist Dr. Wendy Walsh states, “we are wired to bond, this is good for us, but if there is so much sexual opportunity we’re actually not bonding…it is hard for us to focus on one relationship.” Walsh warns against using “short term dating strategies for long term goals”.

Another backlash of online dating and particularly apps is the absolute obsession with physical attractiveness. But let’s just talk about profiles for a moment; these pictures have been carefully curated and filtered to show their very best selves. This isn’t real life, nobody looks like their Tinder photo all of the time. This constant pool of Tinder perfect profiles has increased the average levels of attractiveness compared to the real 3D world.

So let’s get real, if you want to find a person to have a meaningful relationship with you need to step into the real world and leave your ‘swiping’ mentality at the door. Finding your partner isn’t about instant gratification and churning through potential dates. It is about taking the time to get to know somebody, and the key to remember; is they are a ‘somebody’. Looking for a life partner isn’t a game, and if a game is what you’re after.. stick to Tinder!